Christmas

This is my first Christmas so far from my parents. Granted it's only 2hrs away, but that is enough to prevent just "popping" over to see them.

Guess it's all part of growing up, and I guess it proves how much I care for my family that I miss them. But I wouldn't change it, as instead I get to spend it in my own home with my wonderful girlfriend.

It does however mean that we'll be driving all over the place and eating several Christmas dinners... bang goes my figure!

Sonata Arctica and Delain

Nomis favorite band is Sonata Arctica, so much so that their music has been ingrained on my brain as part of the normal background music to computer games, driving and generally everything else that can be done whilst listening to music.

I was surprised how much of their music I remember from just casually listening to it. Must mean that it's catchy :-)

One song (Sadly not played at the gig), Tallulah always reminds me of Endless Ocean a game for the Wii, as Nomi has it set up as the background music for when shes diving. It always makes me laugh that I think it odd the music track itself sounds odd without the sound of an aqualung breathing in and out during the intro :-)

I don't usually pay attention to who's supporting the main act, but this time I stood up and payed attention, as they were surprisingly good... I say surprisingly, not in a disparaging way, but because now know of them, I'd pay good money to see them as a main act. A dutch band called Delain with a fantastic female lead singer. Only a couple of their songs really stuck in my head, which is a shame, but overall I really enjoyed them. So much so I'm listening to them in my car at the moment :-)

Muppet Rhapsody

Just freakin awesome... that's all I can say :-)

Was it a Fox... or a Rhino?

I've hit animals in a car before... but only Pigeons... never anything land based. Until now... I hit what I can only assume was a fox... I say assume because I didn't even have enough time to register what it was before I hit it at 70mph.

Pigeons don't do much damage, big poof of feathers and that's it. This fox however must've been wearing a cast iron breastplate, as in it's last few moments of existence it decided that if it was going to die it was going to take as much of my car with it as possible! A tire and a fog light to be precise.

Somehow it managed to puncture a tire, and the force of the impact dislodged and broke the lamp in my fog light.

Balls at the Erotica Fair

I don't know what it's called, but the art of rolling a crystal ball around a la David Bowie in Labyrinth is hereby renamed awesome. How this guy car roll a solid crystal call that must weigh at least a kilogram around like a feather is beyond me. And just as impressive is him walking around with it on his head!

Gotthard

Went to see Gotthard at a tiny little venue in London... first time I'd been to a bar that was sponsored by Relentless... naturally I had to have some :-) weirdly it was served in little glass bottles... wonder why you can't get it like that in the shops?

Loved the music... and the atmosphere was fantastic amongst the fans... got the traditional t-shirts for me and Nomi :-)

PS Love the name of the band... here's where it originated from

To Boldly Go

Original

The above is a map showing all the space exploration that humankind has embarked upon. In the grand scheme of things it's not even a tear in the ocean. But to be honest I never knew we;d done so much. Kind of amazing really... I wonder why it never makes the news... I'd rather see images of space than some drivel reality show!

Rammstein - Pussy

Rammstein is one of my all time favorite bands... I've seen them play live once before, and words do not do them justice as to how awesome it was... I'm so glad they're touring again in the new year. The reason of course is a new album, the best song of which by far is Pussy... which due to it's graphic nature the video has been banned, but for those that don't offend easily it's repeated below:



And if you care to sing along:

Too big, too small,
size does matter, after all.
Zu groß, zu klein,
er könnte etwas größer sein.
Mercedes Benz und Autobahn,
alleine in das Ausland fahren
Reise Reise, Fahrvergnügen
ich will nur Spaß, mich
nicht verlieben.
Just a little bit...
Just a little bitch...
You've got a pussy
I have a dick ahh
so what's the problem?
let's do it quick!
So take me now
before it's too late
life is too short, I
can't wait!
Take me now! Oh, don't you see?
I can't get laid in Germany!
Too short, to tall
it doesn't matter, one size fits all,
zu groß, zu klein,
der Schlagbaum sollte oben sein!
Schönes Fräulein, Lust auf mehr?
Blitzkrieg mit dem Fleischgewehr!
Schnaps im Kopf, du holde Braut,
steck Bratwurst in dein Sauerkraut.
Just a little bit...
Be my little bitch...
You've got a pussy
I have a dick ahh
so what's the
problem
let's do it quick!
So take me now
before it's too late
life is too short
so i can't wait!
Take me now oh don't you see?
I can't get laid in Germany!
Germany! Germany!

Lyrics and Video © Rammstein

And the Englisdh versin, for those that don't understand German:

Too big, too small
Size does matter, after all
Too big, too small
He could be a bit bigger
Mercedes Benz and autobahn
Driving abroad alone
Journey, journey*, driving pleasure
I just want fun, not to fall in love
Just a little bit…
Just a little bitch…
You’ve got a pussy
I have a dick**
So what’s the problem?
Let’s do it quick
So take me now
before it’s too late
Life’s too short so I can’t wait
Take me
now oh don’t you see
I can’t get laid in Germany
Too short, too tall
Doesn’t matter, one size fits all
Too big, too small
The boom
barrier should be upright
Beautiful lady, (do you) desire more
Blitzkrieg with the fleshy weapon
Schnaps on the brain, you lovely bride
Stick a bratwurst*** into your sauerkraut***
Just a little bit…
Be my little bitch…
You’ve got a pussy
I have a dick
So what’s the
problem?
Let’s do it quick
So take me now
Before it’s too late
Life’s too short
So I can’t wait
Take me now oh don’t you see
I can’t get laid in Germany
Germany!

Translation © Affenknecht.com

Submitted by EinHeisserSchrei


Translation notes:

*Reise is journey or the imperative of reisen (make a journey!), but Reise, reise means arise, arise and is used in German sailors’ jargon as a wake-up call**Dickah could either be the way Till sings it or it could be the German phrase for “thick thing”***Bratwurst is a German sausage and sauerkraut is a type of fermented cabbage that is traditionally served with a bratwurst.

Link to original lyrics

The Tale of Sweeny Todd

Tonight was the much anticipated AOS performance of Sweeney Todd. It was with mixed feelings I sat down to watch the show. Nomi should have got the part of Mrs Lovett... so I wanted to see the reason why she was second.

The opening scene left my jaw on the floor, a massive set with a well constructed scenery laid out in front of us... far better than anything I've ever seen them use before.

When Sweeney entered the stage my first thouht was... "this is a perfect choice"... my second thought however was "isn't he short"... not that the charcter playing Mrs Lovett was tall, just that my mental image is her being shorter than him. Sadly that was the first of many dissapointments.

The first and largest was the accent and singing ability of Mrs Lovett... ranging from thick east end cockney (Or rather mockney... it was so forced it was comic) to choral operati c in places, it just prooved to jarring to the mind listening to it.

The second was the character of Toby... played by a 16 year old boy... who sadly was 7' something tall... rather a startling contrast to Sweeney. But with a truely beautiful voice. I couldn't work out if he was nervous or acting the part of a scared boy. Either way it addded well to the character.

The last was Pirellis moustche and wig... it just looked rediculous. Everyone elses makeup and wigs looked fantastic, so why couldn't they pull of this one?

The lighting and music was second to none, along with the fantastic set and a minimalist chorus made the show supurb. By far and away the best bit was the barbers chair actually having the tipping mechanism :-)

The last few scenes had some gore in, the previous scenes it was all implied, but the deaths of the key characters all had SFX makeup... a shame this couldn't have been used throughout, but I understand the logistics of using all that fake blood.

All in all a excellent performance, and cattyness aside the only change I'd make is to recast Mrs Lovett.

Picture Courtesy of Tina Hood-Liles

Education Renders Us Fit Members For Well Organised Society

Today I went to Oxford Brookes Universities open day... I was hoping to find a course that I could go on to advance my qualifications (I already have a BSc, so I was looking for a MSc or MEng).

I suppose it all started to go wrong when I got there, and realised that there was no parking... at all... unless you have a disabled badge... I suppose you're expected to catch the bus, or instead cycle there. When I eventually found a space (Many thanks to the guy running the corner shop that pointed out that outside his shop was the only place I could park without a permit (Tho even that had a limit of 2 hrs).

I imagined an open day at one of Oxford many universities to be a grand affair with many lecturers to talk to... sadly was mistaken. When I arrived I was presented with the customary bag of goodies and pointed in the direction of a room where all the faculties each had a stand. Not at all what I was expecting... 2 people to a desk and once for each faculty... my god I thought, each faculty has positively tens of courses... where are the other lecturers? I quickly found the Technology desk, and noted they had about 4 leaflets, none of which at first glance appeared to have any relevance to what I intended to study. So naturally I inquired to the only chap that was free at the table, only to be informed that his area was in Audio Visual engineering (IE Films Tv etc), now whilst I would never say I wouldn't do that line of work (I've always fancied being a SFX modeler/tech, especially pyrotechnics :-) ) it wasn't what I was there for, so I asked if there was someone with knowledge in that area around? "erm he'll be back soon" was the response... 10 mins later I decided that I'd take a load off and sit down, so I asked them to point him in m y direction when he showed up.

20 mins later he showed up... looking pretty bedraggled... hardly an advert for the course. Must have had a tough day I thought... so I posed my questions about the course, and he adequately answered them... all the time munching his way through a stack of biscuits that had been laid out as hospitality to the prospective students (His long day can't have afforded him much of a lunch!), suffice to say as a spokesman for the university I was quickly beginning to doubt that this was the place for me. Especially when I discovered that the course on Advanced Engineering Design was primarily focused on Automotive Design (Oxford being home to various F1 design housed I should have guessed this in advance), which unfortunately is completely irrelevant to my current employer, and frankly far detracting from my chosen career of Aerospace and Defence Engineering.

Ho hum... I now continue to look... hopefully a few well placed letters to some Universities may come up with something of interest.

Not The Messiah

Me and Nomi went to see "Not the Messiah" at the Royal Albert Hall as a early Christmas present. I should really read up more on what I plan on going to see... as it was a total surprise to me that it was an oratorio and not a play. Not that I was disappointed, far from it I was really excited, I've seen plays, and musicals before. But never seen an Opera before... yes I know the difference, this wasn't an Opera, but it's close enough for an uncultured swine like me ;-)

During the opening few scenes I had quite a difficulty discerning the storyline from the "music" (The reason I say "music" is because I tend to let everything... instruments and vocals merge into one.... which is why I like foreign music, despite the fact I can't understand what they're saying... the singing is like another musical instrument to me). Thankfully Nomi pointed out that the program contained the words as well... so I spent the rest of the performance with my own personal subtitles :-)

After the show I just was elated... I'd seen Monty Python live... not actors playing parts, but some of the actual Pythons themselves. It was a shame that John Cleese didn't make a guest appearance given it was the 40th anniversary. I only hope they make a 50th anniversary performance now... I can't wait until then :-)

Edited 28/11/09

And of course not to forget the unexpected encore of the "Lumberjack" song performed by Michael Palin. I think Nomi would have quite happily died at that moment :-)

Releasing the Da Vinci Code

A while ago I found a copy of the Da Vinci Code that someone had "released" under the Book Crossing scheme. I finally finished reading it the other day and wondered where I'd like to release it... Somewhere apt I thought. But when we went up to Yorkshire this weekend the perfect opportunity presented itself. Sandal Castle... Ok so it's not as apt as Roslyn Chapel in Scotland... But the name is at least amusing in it's similarity to Sangreal :) hope someone finds it and enjoys it as much as I did... I wonder where it'll go? (Click here to see)

Only hope I find another Book Crossing book sometime soon... It was like finding treasure :)

About Time I Mentioned My New Car!

Working where I work precludes me from casually writing stuff on my blog, but the odd weekends where I'm restless means that you greaders get a few updates, So better late than never huh?

My old car was squashed to beyond repair, so naturally I had to get a new one. I knew what I wanted, but not the means to get it. I can't afford to buy new, but in a funny sense that's a good thing, as I've had few hire cars recently, and all have been pretty badly made... even though they've been near top of the range models. So I decidd to let fate do it for me, or rather my dad... there's no one else I'd trust to do a good job picking a car for me... not only does my dad know enough about cars that he could easily run a dealership, but he also like me is an engineer (Only far far better than I could ever dream to become) so can spot problems before they arise in cars like some sort of car whisperer.

So given my busy schedule, impending lack of a hire car and a severe lack of anywhere to go looking my dad kindly went off to an auction near him to pick me up a bargain. And a bargain he found. A Volvo S60 '03 plate, with all the trimmings... alloy wheels, leather seats, and 5.1 surround stereo. Not no mention the fact it's a 2.5L Diesel so it's got plenty of poke. And strangely emaculate... well it wasn't to start with, but my dad confessed after I queried the low price... it was owned by a farmer, and half the farm was still attached to the inside and outside! However one decent valet and service by a friendly garage near to my dads and she sparkled good as new.

Until... someone decided to back into her :-(

Now I was gutted to see the damage when I woke up in the morning, especially as I had no idea who it was. Cue some Poirot style investigation... and I found out it was a Tesco delivery truck. At least that was my primary suspect, the damage being at the right height and shape for only that sort of vehicle. And it was there at the right time.

So off I went to Tesco... and without any fuss they gave me insurance details and I passed them to my insurance company. Game over I thought... it's gonna be fixed... only a couple of weeks later I got a letter from Direct Line saying that Tesco denied responsibility :-( I was devastated...I knew the damage was expensive... ~£800.00 none of which I could afford.

So with no other viable option, I thought "what have I got to lose", so sent a letter to Tescos customer services explaining everything and asking if they could see fit to put it right.

I was expecting a letter with a couple of vouchers and a generic "we're sorry" letter. What I got however was a very fast response of "Sure we'll fix it, it's obviously damage caused by our van and we'll take your word on it". So now it's in the garage being repaired... all I can say is wow... a responsible company. In reality it's a drop in the ocean for Tesco to splash out and fix my car... they probably make that much in profit in less than a second! But they were under no obligation to do it, the worst that could happen is I shop elsewhere... big deal... I spend like £300 a month on shopping, again nothing in their grand scheme of things. But by paying out as a gesture of goodwill I'll be forever telling the story of how good Tescos are :-) ... thank you Tesco I'll be a loyal customer for life!

Showman Show

So what are the showmen showcasing in the show at the showman show? Try saying that fast :)

Animals in Road

Bit specific the number of animals in the road? Bit of an overstatesment especially as I didn't see a singe one :( My Volvo is hungry for blood after hit a pigeon the other day... So she was disappointed :(

Is it a Bike from the future?

Wow I thought... That is awesome! Only ever seen bikes like this in anime and manga... Looked it little unstable at 60mph on the motorway. But the guy inside was wearing a suit... So must be an asset not having helmet hair! Wonder what the little wheels are for on the side... Fold down stabilisers?

Crab Gods

Shame you cant see it from the photo, but on the back of this car there's a symbol much akin to the christian fish that's shaped like a crab... Wonder what it represents? The Crab Gods?

Steel Panther

I honestly thought this would be a little pap... Oh so wrong... Almost like a comedy show with hair metal in between is the best way to describe it! Such a stage presence... Rapier banter between the band members just made the evening :) we unfortunately got seated tickets. But in actuality it made for a really good view point for the bits between songs. Awesome! Must go see them again!

Dragonball Mango

Or to give it it's proper name Mango Fireball, but I prefer my name :-)

Once we saw this being ordered on the table opposite we had to have it... and like tourists we filmed it :-)

Japanese Gothic Lolita Shop

Now this is mine and Nomis sort of Camden :)

Awesome Island

One of Nomi's friends had been inviting up over to hers ever since we got together... But seemed that whenever invited we were always busy. Now she's off to live somewhere else, so we went over for farewell drinks. I was flabbergasted! It was on an island! In fairness she rented a flat... But still she had a home on an island in the middle of a fishing lake. Only accessible by boat it's a little spot of paradise in oxford. I wonder if we could rent a flat and take a hovercraft to work every day? Now that's fun :)

Turret

Not sure what this is... Looks like it needs a gunner tho. Or perhaps it's a pope mobile for prisoners?

Festival

In my garden. Well kind me looks like it. After the partying hard for my birthday finished everyone that couldn't fit in the house camped out in my back garden. Come morning the true devastation was revealed. So what did I do? Opened another BBQ and cooked breakfast... Naturally :)

Toms New Ride

I've always fancied owning a motorbike, but know I'd manage to maim myself riding it. So the best I can do is ogle my friend Toms latest machine. And this one's a beauty. 2 and a bit litres of cruising chrome :) it probably weighs only half as much as Nomi's mini, but has nearly twice the engine capacity :) just don't drop it off the stand Andy!

Monster Caterpillar!

Did a double take when I saw this big fella on our flowers! Wonder what he'll turn into?

We like seafood

And there's nothing like having it fresh from the beach :)

40 year old virgin

I wonder which came first... The shop in the show or in Lowerstoft? It's a cool concept for the technophobic... Must make money tho otherwise it wouldn't still be there?

Tatanka

Come on... Anyone who's seen Dances With Wolves must have done this at a zoo at some point in their lives :)

Egg Fail

Squirrels are of course famous for their role in egg production... Or maybe not so. Perhaps they train the squirrels to climb trees and bring the eggs down? Except chickens make their nests on the ground. So what sort of eggs must these be to warrant a squirrel on the box?

Hash Brown Tetris

Sad I know... But thought it was funny to see how many I could fit in :)

Sonisphere

Nightfall over the main stage :-)

Captain Yellow Dragon! or is it an impostor?

Was more funny at the time... hell it's still funny now :-)

Metallica

Awesomeness is the only word I can think of. Despite the fact that I am sore, poor, smelly and totally knackered now I am on a high for the long journey home having seen Metallica :)

Buckcherry

Went to see them on a whim... Think I'll try and pick up some of their other stuff :)

Did you lose a camera at Sonisphere? It's a Sony DSC-W50

Found a camera at sonisphere on the grass between the 2nd stage and the 3rd stage. If it's not yours please show this to your friends and hopefully someone will recognise the woman in the photo off it and I can reunite it with it's owner! Let's see if the power of the internets can bring about a little miracle for someone!

First band of sonisphere

Alien Ant Farm :) woo... Unsurpriseingly they did smooth criminal :-)

Anti Vampire Bollard

Thought this looked like something out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer! All I can say is don't trip over in this car park! Especially if you're one of the undead!

Foal

Went to get some strawberries and the field opposite had a young foal in it. Funny how their legs don't grow so much as they get older. So to eat they have to go all bandy legged to reach the ground :)

Bi-Curious Cafe?

Can't work out if this is called just "Delicatessen" or "Bicafe" the latter sounds more interesting though :)

I saw Jesus in my Ice Cream!

Made you look :) wonder how many god botherers are going to accidentally google this page. Sorry to disappoint you but it's just ice cream... So I ate it :) wonder if I could have sold it on ebay for thousands of pounds... Bugger should have kept it :(

Everyone Has A Sense of Humour

Even manufacturers of squirty cream... Or in this case moose :)

So where do the bad deliverys go?

Falconer

Saw Falconer at the Camden Underground (The venue not the Tube Station). I'd never really heard of them until Nomi made me a mix CD for the car. Have to say I wasn't disappointed with then live. Awesome :)

Edit 29/10/09

Comments disabld due to spamming :-(

Hehe My But

Made me chuckle... Wonder if it's deliberate? Must be :)

RIP Ryoko the Rover 45

1st October 2001 to 18th May 2009

Well I've had to bite the bullet and give up on repairing my car. She was totalled in an accident in May, since then I've been weighing up my options. And she's beyond repair. So today I send her off to be scrapped. A sad day indeed. I loved that car... She was built entirely to my specification. She was wholly mine. Sadly there'll never be another car like that in my life... As neither can I afford it, nor do they make cars that good anymore. All the new cars I've been in look plastic and cheap. The walnut dash and leather upholstery always appealed to me. I'm so sad she's gone... But I definitely had a good run with over 150k miles in such a short time. RIP Ryoko :'(

Wow what sort of cake is that?

I only hope it's carrying one ingredient... Otherwise it'll be a pretty weird cake!

Cosplay Birthday

Louises big idea for her birthday this year was for everyone to go dressed as something beginning with "L" now that doesn't leave a lot of things to Cosplay as. But we were pretty imaginative.

Paul went as a Lemon...

...He actually hired this costume... why on earth any costume company would have one I just don't know. I think he asked them as a joke, and when they produced it was too embarrassed to say nah I'll try something else.

I went as a Lemming... nice and easy I thought... green wig and blue t-shirt :-) Louise went as Princess Leia from Star Wars

Nomi's costume was truly inspired tho... I jokingly said how about Leeloo from the Fifth Element... expecting her to say "that's a little risque isn't it?" Except she ran with it... the swift purchase of white bondage tape from an online shop and her costume was born (Well after an hour of me wrapping her in it). And here she is looking totally fantastic:

And a still from the film to compare it with:

Perfect... If a little chilly :-)

Lou's Birthday... The calm before the storm!

Here we are at a nice family meal. Nomi had a seafood platter... with lobster... I should have seen this as an ill omen for how plastered she'd be later :)